Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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