32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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