The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
