weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
