we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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