forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
