D3 body, D1 cock
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
