it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
