East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I will pee on everything he values.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
