she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
