i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
