the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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