I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
