Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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