i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
