you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
