I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
