apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
