Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
