I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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