Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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