We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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