So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
