Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
