we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
