You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
