Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
