Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
