Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
