Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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