Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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