So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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