break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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