Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
