Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
