I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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