How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
