Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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