and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I wear drunk well.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
