we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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