did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So many bounce houses so little time
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
