i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
