First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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