We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
