You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
