at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
