didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
