i already hear my dad disowning me
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So squirting runs in the family.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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