Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
