My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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