In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
