so that wasnt chicken after all
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
