ya dads aren't the best wingmen
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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