We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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