Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
